


Reanimated

by MechaHero



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 19:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5427566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechaHero/pseuds/MechaHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick needs help and is short on time. He puts his trust in the hands of Roger but with time ticking down, can he count on him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Out of an Orange-colored Sky

It was about 10 in the morning when Nick finally came downstairs to get ready for work. Ellie without even looking up handed him an empty coffee cup. It was something he liked her to do, something that reminded him of the life before his own back when coffee was the working man’s drink of gin. He sat down and lit up a cigarette while she clicked away on her typewriter. “There hasn’t been a new case in days now, Nick, do you think maybe that cute friend of yours has something to do with that?” Nick smiled and kicked his feet up onto a filing cabinet. It was just then that a muffled bark broke through the regular city bustle and the door swung open. “Speak of the devil,” Ellie giggled and flashed a sweet smile.

“Roger! And you brought the pooch! Great!” Dogmeat bounded over to Nick, nipping playfully at his metallic appendage as Roger gave Ellie a kiss on the cheek. “Always good to see you, Ell. Nick, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop in.” Nick was hardly paying attention, he really did love Dogmeat, maybe he had a dog when he had a heartbeat. “Oh sure, sure, Ellie was just saying that you’ve been taking all our cases before they can hit the desk.” Roger laughed and sat down, picking up one of those empty coffee cups that lined the desk. “Say, how’s that boy of yours? I mean I know he’s not really yours but-“

“He’s fine, really interested in building things lately. Recently he’s been talking about wanting to be a detective- like you.” Nick smiled as much as his faceplate would allow without tearing his skin. “Shawn’s a good kid, you’ve done alright, Roger.” Suddenly the door flew open again this time a young girl rushed in. “Nick- uh, Mr. Valentine, I didn’t know where else to go!” Roger stood up to allow her to sit down, but she didn’t, she was too flustered. Nick focused on the girl, “wait a minute, you’re Piper’s sister right?” “Nat, yeah, I need help, it’s Piper she’s… missing”

“Piper? Missing? Are you sure she’s not on some undercover reporter operation?” Nat crossed her arms and shot Roger a dirty look. “Yeah I’m sure, she’s never been gone this long and without telling me. Shit, what if it’s the institute?” “Hey watch your mouth young lady” Ellie snapped, Nat rolled her eyes. “I mean I’m not worried, I mean I am, but I just want her to get back so I can yell at her for leaving me.”

Nick leaned forward in his seat and motioned her to sit down at the desk to face him. When she finally took her seat Ellie picked up a clipboard and pen and readied herself for notes. “Tell me about the last time you saw your sister, everything you tell me can help.” Nat took a slow breath, never unfolding her arms. “She took off for some caravan settlement or something, uh, Bunker Hill or something like that; said she’d be back before tomorrow, and that was days ago. Two days ago.” Nick tapped his chin for a moment. “Two days eh? Why did you wait so long before reporting it?” Nat huffed, “well I wasn’t sure if she was really missing or if she got lost or what.”

Roger watched Nick closely, trying to figure out what must be going on in that mind of his. Surely he wanted to help, but why did he seem so apprehensive? “Come on, Nick, let’s see if we can’t find our favorite reporter.” Nick nodded, “well normally I would also blame the institute, but we both know that they’re not kidnapping anyone these days. Could be raiders, maybe super mutants, you’re right, we’d better get going.” Roger agreed and called over Dogmeat, “alright boy, Ellie is going to take care of you for a little bit, is that okay, Miss Perkins?” Ellie beamed “of course, Roger! You just find Piper, oh and Nat, you’re welcome to stay too...” It was too late though, Nat had already managed to sneak out of the building. “Lead the way, Nick.” Roger held open the door and they both left into the cool morning.

“Now I know you’re no stranger to this detective business, bud, but I guess the first thing we oughtta do is check out Publick Affairs. Could be she left us a clue or maybe she’s already back from her uh, mission.” Roger nodded, tuning his radio to Radio Freedom, “maybe the minutemen have heard something.” “Good thinking, after you then.” Nick held the door open for Roger and the familiar scent of fresh ink and old paper circled them. “Look for anything about Bunk Hill, you’ve been there, right? Bunch of Railroad enthusiasts and caravans, I wonder what she was getting herself into out there?” Roger was never good at looking for clues; he was a Railroad heavy himself and was more of a shoot and loot kind of guy- but he didn’t want Nick to think he was bored, after all Nick was his best friend. Roger looked aimlessly for a few minutes, digging in the trash, opening the Nuka Cola machines, fiddling with old editions of the paper. “I think I’ve got something over here” Nick was crouching near Piper’s bed reading a crumpled piece of paper. “Looks like she was going to check on a few conspiracy theories involving the freedom trail. Shit, if she ended up in Boston Commons she could be in big trouble.” Nick groaned, standing up and tucking the note into his pocket. “What on Earth was she thinking going out there by herself? I hate to rush you, partner, but we gotta get to Bunker Hill quick.” “Of course.”

///

A radiation storm rolled in the moment they crossed the gate into Bunker Hill. Even though it would have no effect on Nick he pulled the collar or his coat up around his neck. “We better get inside if you don’t want to lose that nose of yours.” Roger smirked as he knocked back a dose of radaway. Just as they were about to search for more clues they halted in their steps. “Now wait just a minute, Piper? Is that you?”

“Blue? How did you know where to- oh, Nick, right.” Piper was sitting in front of a well-dressed man whom Roger recognized as a Railroad ally. “Nick, would you mind telling me what you’re doing out here tailing me? Am I under investigation or something?” Piper laughed and put her notepad away in her coat. “Well as a matter of fact, Piper, you’ve got Nat worried sick over you. She’s got it in her head that the Institute has swiped away.” Piper cackled and shook her head. “I swear she only listens to me when it’s about something exciting to her. I told her I’d be out of town for a while. How worried was she? Did she cry?”

Roger scowled at her, “Come on now, Piper, she’s your family.” Piper waved her hand at him, “she’s fine, a complete drama queen, but she’s okay. Anyway, I was just about to get the scoop on the Freedom Trail we’re always hearing about. What is it, where does it go, who came up with it?” Nick glanced at Roger and cleared his throat. “Piper, you know that old trail has been around since before the war, hell even before my time. We would read about it in history class, there’s nothing to it.” Piper tilted her head at Roger, not quite believing all that was true, but also knowing that if anyone would know about before the war it would be him, or some drunken ghoul in Goodneighbor. “Maybe you’re right, Blue, but I’ve just got a feeling that there’s more to it than that.” She tapped restlessly on the counter, thunder crashed and the sky outside was a deep green. “Alright, I’ll head home, but you owe me a story.” Piper slid off of the barstool and shuffled out into the glow. Roger faced the vendor, chewing on the inside of his lip. “What would you have told her, Stockton?” The old vendor just shook his head and began cleaning a bent aluminum can.

“Well that could have ended very badly, I’m glad we got off easy on that one,” Nick said, leaning against a wall. “Before we take off, could you do me a favor? I don’t usually ask other people to do these things but I see the way you are with your weapons so I figure maybe you’re the one to ask.” Roger raised an eyebrow, “ask away, Nick.” “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather talk in private?” Roger nodded and they headed for a separate room that was for rent, but they wouldn’t be staying.

“I’ve noticed I’m running at a slower capacity than I used to, I guess maybe I’m just getting old, this body, it’s catching up on me. I’ve been around for years now and well, I guess what I’m asking is for your help. Do you think maybe you can find me some new parts? I know the Institute being out of the picture makes synths harder to find, which makes this request all the more trying.” Roger sat down in a chair by the door. “Are you saying that you’re dying?” Nick scratched the back of his head and sat down on the bed. “Well technically I was never alive to begin with but, I suppose that is what I’m saying, yeah. I’m dying. It sounds so strange to say out loud. I doubt it would happen anytime soon, Roger, just overtime you’d notice it like I do.”

Roger leaned back, his heart felt heavy. Even if he could fix Nick, and he could, just knowing that his friend was dying was a hard pill to swallow. “Just tell me what you need, Nick, I’ll get it done."


	2. A Minor Setback

Roger looked over the poorly-written list of mechanical bits that Nick requested. “Honestly, Nick, I couldn’t tell you what half of this shit is. Are you sure you’re not making it up?” Nick laughed deeply in his throat. “I’m telling ya, there’s a reason they built a whole new gen after me.” Roger set out a mutfruit and a Nuka Cola and started eating some iguana bits. “What if we rebuilt you using gen 3 parts? How would you feel about that? You know it wouldn’t be a matter of if we are capable, we have the technology.” Nick cocked his head this way and that, seemingly mulling over the option. “I’ve sometimes thought about it, what it would be like to look more human, to fit in like anyone else and…” he trailed off as Ellie strolled into the agency with a small bag of toy for Dogmeat. “Oh, Ell, you didn’t have to-“ before Roger could get out another word Dogmeat shredded apart a teddy bear and Ellie squealed in delight. Roger smiled and turned to face Nick again only to see he had left his seat and began to retreat to his room upstairs.

Roger felt that pain in his chest again, this overwhelming sadness. He stood up and ruffled Dogmeat’s fur between his ears. “I’ve got some errands to run, should be back before next week. Let Nick know I’ll be in touch. Come on boy, let’s head out.” As Roger made his way through Diamond city he read the list over and over again. He may have been exaggerating a little with Nick, he knew what most of these things were but he’d have to talk with someone more skilled to get everything on the list, luckily, he knew just the guy.

///

“Funny, I feel like I was just over here the other day,” Roger said more to himself than to his companion. Knowing full well that the area had been cleared months ago he kept his weapon in its holster but safety off. As they made their way through the tunnels below the old church Dogmeat’s ears stood up and he crouched down, growling softly. “What is it boy?” Roger whispered, arming himself with a shotgun, there was nothing out there that could still stand after a few shells to the chest. They crept around each corner cautiously; concerned that it was a courser that got too ambitious. Suddenly he heard a voice that sent chills up his spine.

“I know you’re in there, who-whatever you are! Just let me in, alright, I promise I’m not an enemy. I just have some questions for you!”

_Piper_? Roger froze, anxiety tumbling over into his hands and legs. _How the hell did she even manage to find this place?_ Roger holstered his weapon and straightened up. He had to think quick or Piper might end up hurt. He ran out of his hiding spot and looked surprised to see her. “Piper? What are you doing here?” She spun around to meet his gaze and she adjusted her weight to her other hip. “I could ask you the same thing!” “Well after you made such a big fuss about the whole Freedom Trail thing I thought I’d check it out. I thought you were going home to your sister.” She smirked, “I did and told her not to assume the worst next time I’m gone for a few days. Well now that you’re here maybe you can help me get in this place.” Roger grew slightly irritated, he didn’t know how much time Nick had left, but he knew that he was timed and Piper was taking up a lot of it.

“I don’t exactly know what to do, or how to get in here, but I’m sure it’s not safe. Piper, look, I’d love to have you travel with me, but you know how Dogmeat gets, “Piper was livid. “Wait a minute _Roger_ , you don’t honestly think I’m gonna let you walk in there without any kind of, of backup? I don’t think so. I want to know what’s in there and you’re going to help me figure it out. Let’s go.” Roger felt himself warming up around the ears, he didn’t have time for this. “Piper, let me ask you something very serious. What do you expect to find? What if it’s ghouls or gunners or hell what if it’s some kind of trap?” Piper let out a heavy sigh and she paced around for a minute. “Well that’s what you’re here for, right? I mean I know you didn’t come all this way to look after me, but at least now that you’re here help me.”

Roger ran his hand through his hair and groaned. He could trust Piper, she was one of the good guys, she was happy when the Institute went under. “Alright, Piper.” She smiled in that way that made him less irritable, that silly bob she did when she got her way. He just hoped he was making the right choice, Des was going to let him hear it one way or another. Roger stepped up to the massive wheel on the wall and cracked the code like he had done so long ago. Piper was practically vibrating with anxiety.

“Looks like you’ve brought a houseguest, Bullseye.”

Roger felt that intense heat creeping up to his ears again, this time because he had been caught. Piper shot him a look that would be dealt with at another time if he could just wiggle out of this awkward situation he’d put himself in. “Des, this is Piper; she’s a reporter from Diamond city. Hey, do you mind putting the lights out, they’re just so damn bright.” The floodlights dimmed and the familiar faces of the Railroad came into view. Roger walked through the small crowd that had gathered to investigate the intruders. “I didn’t know she would be here when I got here and I guess I have some explaining to do but I’m sort of on a schedule. I have to talk to Tom, if you wouldn’t mind having one of the agents do an interview with her? Before you start with that look, Des, yes I trust her. She’s one of us.” Desdemona looked Piper over a few times and then Roger. He knew what she was thinking, at least he thought he did, ‘how could you bring someone here without telling us, you’re compromising all of us blah blah blah.’ She put her hand on his shoulder, “I trust your judgment, Tom is working in the back as always, she’ll be in good hands here. Don’t think we won’t be talking about this later though.”

Roger smiled and looked back at Piper who was already taking down notes without even so much as glancing at her notebook. He waited for her to return his gaze but she didn’t. Before he knew it he was striding downstairs to meet Tom.

“Hey-hey! Well if it isn’t Mr. Hotshot himself, I’ve got new stuff in stock if you wanna check it out.” Roger dug through his pockets for the list Nick wrote for him. “I need these parts, Tom, what do you make of ‘em?” Tom took the worn paper from Roger and read it, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “I gotta tell you man, some of this stuff is pretty old technology. Are you trying to build a synth or something? By the looks of it, it would be a gen one or… maybe two? Bullseye, man, look, you’re better off salvaging at a scrap yard. I’ve got a few of these things on hand, your basic copper wiring, aluminum, maybe not as much adhesive as you need but you’ll find it out there.” He went quiet for a moment, scratching his nose and then holding his breath. “Finding these things as raw components is not going to be easy, my friend. Your best option is to find things you can scrap for parts. I know you’re no stranger to that, but it’s the ‘where’ that’ll be tricky. Tell you what, you know those toy companies to the south? There’s a few of them. You’re bound to find thing to tear apart there.”

At that time Piper came downstairs with a terribly familiar-looking agent. Roger flashed a smile at Deacon who nodded back inconspicuously as Piper asked him several questions at once. “Here’s a list of what you’re looking for, more or less, I’d get extras just to be sure. There’s no telling what’s going to be crawling around those old factories. It’s none of my business, but you might want to consider taking another gun with you. I don’t know if your dog will be enough help.” Tom was tinkering with the lenses on the magnifying glass nearby. He was right, but Roger always felt guilt for leaving Dogmeat behind. Strong might be a good option, especially for toting potentially heavy items around. “Oh by the way, I know you know what you’re doing but you might seriously consider just building a new generation synth, they need a lot more parts but believe me, they are worth it.” Roger tightened his jaw. There was no way Tom would know what he was doing all of this for, but he felt a strong resentment just then. Nick meant more to him than a shiny new interface and updated hardware. He left Dogmeat at the Railroad and headed for Sanctuary Hills.


	3. Becoming Dr. Frankenstein

The first toy factory was crawling with super mutants, a few armed to the teeth with all manners of weaponry. Roger lowered his rifle and rubbed his eyes, he wasn’t terribly handy with a sniper rifle, but having a long range view was always useful. “Enough standing around, Strong want to smash. Brothers not as strong as Strong, show human.” Before Roger could protest, Strong sprung from their hiding spot about 75 yards out and equipped a minigun Roger had modded for him a week or two back. ‘You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Roger followed behind strong with his trusty laser rifle that Shawn had built for him. The first few enemies went down without much of a fight, but there were some big greenies spraying the two with heavy fire. “Get up there, Strong, I’ll take the other ones down here.” As Roger ran through the lower level of the factory he was excited, he had already seen a few things that he knew were on the list. As the last super mutant dissolved into a mound of ash the sounds of Strong cackling as he filled his rival with bullets reassured that the last enemy had been, or soon will be, killed. “Now let’s see here. Obviously we’re going to need plenty of wiring-“

“I WIN AGAIN!”

A heavy body collapsed  to the floor upstairs and Roger nodded, Strong was certainly capable of fending for himself. No one knew what he meant by ‘milk of human kindness’ and Hancock always made it a point to laugh at him whenever Strong brought it up. Roger picked a few old light bulbs and blew the dust off a toolbox before attempting to pick the lock. After a few snapped bobby pins he finally pulled open the drawer. “Bingo” Roger said under his breath, but stealthy as he might have been, he heard Strong scoff from across the room. He was now holding a sledgehammer and shaking his head profusely. Roger rolled his eyes as he pulled a few tools from the container. “How else am I supposed to find all the things on the list, Strong? Besides, no one was using these things, there’s dust all over the place.” Roger heard Strong grunt and mutter something before walking around and looking for danger.

Roger continued to search the area for what seemed like useless junk to Strong. He picked up a lighter and clicked it on a few times, becoming irritated when it didn’t light. Strong shook his head and strolled through the doorway to investigate the perimeter. A mole rat launched itself from the earth and Strong swooped his arm down and picked it up by the scruff of its neck. “Strong not like tiny meat, too much bone.” And with that he threw the small creature as far as he could into the coming darkness. He laughed that old guttural laugh and wiped his hand on his armor. “Human should be quick, not safe at night.” Roger shook off Strong’s advice and checked another item off of the list. Looking around Roger couldn’t see much else of use in the small factory floor.

“Strong I need you to take a few things for me” Roger said as he tucked the list back into the inner pocket of his vault suit. “Strong take for human.” Strong put his back to Roger as he put a few heavy things into Strong’s makeshift pack. “I’ve been asking around at a few of our settlements and it looks like the next factory has ferals all over the damn place. Are you going to be ready for that?” Strong picked something from his teeth and spat it out, “filthy ghouls, Strong kill them all!” Roger smiled, “that’s the spirit. Let’s go.”

///

The second factory proved to be much harder to infiltrate than the first. Ghouls are so much faster, even if they are easier to kill; killing them becomes difficult when you can’t even hit them. Strong took a lot of damage, he was surrounded by six or seven of them before Roger was able to catch up to him. “Good news, Strong, we might find the rest of our items at this place. Just keep a look out, I feel like we’re not alone here.”

Strong stalked around and Roger collected some old prewar junk, also feeling like they had more to worry about. He held a bolt action pipe rifle as if it were little more than a pistol as he made his way around blind corners. An ominous green glow came into view as Strong entered a control room. Radiation didn’t bother him and he would never admit to it but ghouls scared him. Not in the way that one might be terrified of heights, but the absolute loss of humanity that comes with being a ghoul just makes him uncomfortable. He lifted the rifle and began shooting as soon as the glowing one made itself visible. The sudden gunfire startled Roger initially, but he knew Strong could take care of whatever posed a threat. “That’s it!” Roger exclaimed as he stashed the biometric scanner into his pack.

Having collected the last piece of the puzzle, Roger began his search of strong who was still shooting at whatever he was shooting at. Odd, usually whatever Strong was attacking didn’t last very long. Then he heard Strong shout in pain and that was very unnerving. Roger equipped himself with a combat rifle and sprinted in Strong’s direction. _It better not be a bloat fly, I hate bloat flies._

When roger saw the glowing one swinging at a badly injured Strong, we couldn’t help but wish for a bloat fly. One shot to the head, two, four, seven did it in. Strong was scooting around pitifully when Roger jammed a stimpack into his arm. Strong flinched but stood up quickly after that. “If human is done picking up junk, we should leave this place, too many ghouls.” Roger nodded, wiping his brow. “I’ve got to get to Diamond city, do you want to come along?” Strong groaned longer than necessary and Roger almost laughed at this tantrum. “Don’t worry about it, Strong, I’ll just take those things I gave you and you can go back to Sanctuary.” Strong continued to groan as if neither of those were remotely reasonable options. “Or would you prefer the Slog?” Strong hushed, “no more ghouls for Strong, human be careful in city.” Roger took the supplies from Strong and they split paths. Roger took the lighter out of his pocket that he had lifted from the first factory. “I’m coming, Nick, hang in there.”

///

Nick was struggling to take a cigarette out of the pack with his skin-covered hand. Frustrated he set it down and walked back upstairs. He had spent a lot of time sitting at the edge of his bed, just sitting and staring. He had tried to run diagnostics for systems that his hard drive didn’t recognize anymore. It was nothing if not hell. He smacked the side of his head a few times, hard, maybe that would get some wires re-amped but nothing new happened. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Roger was a busy man, he couldn’t blame him for setting the needs of an old synth on the back burner, but still. “Nicky, are you alright? Can I get you anything?” Ellie had been watching Nick deteriorate over the years but never this rapidly. It’s like he was falling apart all at once. When she was met with silence she couldn’t help but feel like crying.

She slumped down on the bottom step and crumbled into her lap, not able to push back her sadness anymore. She didn’t want Nick to hear her crying, she was sure he’d try to comfort her even though it was him who needed the comforting. Before long she felt his hand rest on her back. “I hope you’re not fussing over me like that, I’d hate to be the cause of those tears.” She tried smiling but her grin was crooked and her makeup smudged. “Nick, I just don’t like seeing you so… so-“ “Broken down?” She took in a sharp breath, trying not to cry heavier than she already was. “Ellie, you don’t need to worry about me, I’ve got time left in these old gears, just need some oiling is all.” The door opened slowly and the bell chimed as a visitor walked in.

“We’re closed, come back later.” Ellie started, wiping her nose. “What, even for a friend?” Roger’s voice was music to Nick’s ears at that point. “Boy am I glad to see you, pal. What did your search turn up?” When Roger turned the corner to meet the two eye to eye he saw Ellie’s face flushed and her eyes swollen. “Ellie, what’s the matter?” He turned his gaze to Nick, “Am I too late?” Nick stood up after a little trouble and shook Roger’s hand. “Not a moment too soon, really.” Roger felt the lack of strength in Nick’s hand and felt a tug in his throat.

“I have everything we need, but I need to get to a work bench. The one here in the city should work, if you’re ready.” Nick nodded, “after you.”Once they reached the unfinished house Roger had bought in the middle of town Roger began setting up a makeshift operation area. Nick felt a chill and removed his trench coat, hanging it up on a rack, followed by his hat and his gun holster. Roger choked back his sadness from merely watching Nick undress, it all felt so final. He had watched documentaries of open heart surgery before the war. The families of the patients were so solemn before the procedure, so sure that their loved one wouldn’t make it out with a pulse. Roger felt the need to say something, anything but nothing came to mind. Nick unbuttoned his shirt and set it on a dresser.

“I don’t want to stress you out any more than you already are but I have to be sure- you do know what you’re doing, don’t you? I mean you did say you didn’t know what you were looking for initially and I just want to make sure you can do this. It’s okay if you can’t, I can find someb-“

“I know what I’m doing Nick, I was just being a pain in the ass before. But I do have to ask you something that you didn’t answer before. Did you want to come back as a third generation synth?”

Nick sat down on the operating table, which was nothing more than a glorified single bed, and gripped the edges as tight as he could. He had thought about it before, but never really thought he’d have the chance to have such a new upgrade. He looked at himself; pale silicone-like skin almost transparent from years of wear, exposed wires and rods, a hardly impressive frame. As a third gen he would look like anyone else, almost human, he would fit in finally. But would he still be Nick Valentine or a faceless, nameless synth? He sat there for a while, taking deep breaths, the cold from the old building sending shivers through him. Roger chewed on a cuticle, half impatient, half worried. It didn’t matter to him, he would be Nick Valentine any way he ended up.

Nick finally looked at Roger and nodded, “I’m ready, do what you have to do.” Roger forced a smile, sure it looked far from genuine. “Alright, Nick, just lay back and take some deep breaths, you’ll be better in no time. Nick lie back and shivered, he was cold, sure, but terrified more than he’d ever been. Roger slid a screwdriver into the panel on the side of Nick’s head and popped it open. “Here we go, Nick, I’ll see you on the other side. 10… 9…8…” Roger punched in a code that would put Nick in a coma-like stasis and continued counting down from ten, like he’d seen on those medical shows. Nick saw the ceiling lights dim above him but he focused on Roger’s face until his vision went black. Then he was gone as far as he was concerned. Roger finally let a tear escape, breathing heavily, he held the very fabric of his best friend’s life in his hands and he was petrified. He hadn’t been lying, he knew what to do, but that didn’t make the task any easier.


	4. Playing God

Roger’s hands were shaking as he fused two wires onto a new processing unit. It had been over six hours already and he felt as if he weren’t even close to being finished. In truth he had to take a break every couple hours to keep from losing his cool. He was avoiding the RAM, saving it for last, hoping he could get up the courage to tamper with it long enough to fix it. There was worry clouding his mind, what if he could never switch Nick back on? What if when he did he was violent? What if he had no memory of anything? Roger sat back and exhaled. He had taken off his pipboy for the operation, he let his focus hang onto it, the time was just a little before 4am. “Alright, calm down, nearly done.” He lied to himself to provide any kind of comfort.

He looked at Nick’s exposed hand. Designing the synthetic skin to cover the metallic structure is something he didn’t know if he could manage. “Well if it ain’t broke, right?” Roger returned to the peeled open panel of Nick’s chest and looked at his handy work. There were several strips of technology that ran through him that would light up once power was restored, but for now they lie dormant. He got a screwdriver and removed a fan that looked partially damaged. As he pulled out the containing wall that held the fan there was a gut wrenching snap that could have shook the entire building. Roger froze up, his eyes wide, his breath caught in his chest. He couldn’t move, he was terrified. A minute passed before Roger realized that the popping noise was supposed to happen, it was just the releasing of the compartment. He let out a long unsteady breath.

He opened up the fan box and blew the dust out. He polished the blades and tightened a few screws. He shrugged after he replaced the parts. He had ignored it long enough. He closed the lid over Nick’s chest and smoothed out the skin over the metal. Roger looked down at Nick’s face and clenched his jaw. “Maybe I never told you, Nick, but you’re the best friend I’ve got. I don’t know if you can hear me, like when patients are in a coma or there’s some sort of divine intervention involved with synths. I don’t know where your consciousness goes when you’re gone, I don’t know, I just… I don’t know but-“ Roger choked on tears that he refused to cry out. His breath was shaky, he rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know if I ever believed in God, I remember going to church as a kid with my mom but that was forever ago, a whole lifetime ago, I was a different person then. I’ve done things, so many bad things, I’ve hurt so many people I let my son-“ Roger finally cried out, tears streaming down his face. “I let my son die and I couldn’t save my wife. Please God; if you’re there just let me save him.” Roger collapsed to the floor, he couldn’t see through the tears, his eyes burned, his body was aching.

He didn’t know how much time passed before he finally calmed down. He knew that he wasn’t helping Nick by crying. No one was ever helped by praying. If there was a God he wouldn’t have let humanity do this to itself. Roger cleared his throat and settled himself back in his seat and looked at Nick’s face again. “Okay, here we go.”

///

The motor behind Nick’s eyes whirred loudly at first then slowed down to a low hum and eventually became silent. A few sharp beeps sounded off. Nick’s eyes opened. He saw the brightness from the lights, but nothing had come into focus. The sensor display that lay just within his vision were evening out, his vitals were normal. He blinked. He lifted his arm up to observe his hand.  ‘Error. Minor epidermal malfunction. Seek manufacturer assistance’ flashed over his vitals display for a moment before it disappeared.

He blinked again.

The display in his lower peripheral finally disappeared all together and he looked around slowly before seeing someone asleep in a chair a few feet away. He thought about speaking but didn’t know what to say. He sat there just staring at the sleeping man. It was then that Roger woke up, gasping and breathing hard. He had had a nightmare about something that he couldn’t quite recall. He calmed himself down once he realized he was awake and then he saw Nick.

“Your diagnostics must have taken longer than I-“ Roger’s heart sank when he saw the blank expression on Nick’s face, almost as if he didn’t recognize him. He stood up slowly and walked over to him, trying not to startle his friend. “Nick?” The synth turned his head to the side and repeated him, “Nick.” Roger put his hand up to his mouth, trying not to let on how concerned he was. “Do you know who I am?” Roger asked, hoping with all he had that Nick was just playing some horrible joke on him. Instead of answering, Nick just looked around again, taking in his surroundings. Suddenly there was a static-like sound coming from inside of Nick’s faceplate and Nick’s left eye started twitching furiously. Roger grabbed Nick’s head and blew as hard as he could into the hole on his neck, thinking that maybe there was just a buildup of dust or that the lubricant didn’t dry completely.

The static silenced and Nick cleared his throat. Roger stepped back, releasing Nick’s head and watched him cautiously. Nick coughed hard and cleared his throat again, pounding his chest with his fist. The two met eyes and there was a momentary silence before a grin spread over Nick’s face. “Had you there, didn’t I?” Roger felt his ears get hot and it spread over his face. He pushed over the chair and seriously considered punching Nick but instead he embraced him. “You incredible asshole, Nick, I thought I lost you.” Roger finally stepped away from Nick to get his shirt from the dresser.

Nick stretched out and heard a few quiet popping sounds. “I’m surprised you didn’t take it upon yourself to fix this hand of mine.” Roger handed Nick his shirt and crossed his arms. “I kinda like it.” Nick smiled and shook his head as he buttoned up the last few buttons. He was relieved that he was able to fasten the buttons at all. “Roger, thank you for everything. I knew I could trust you.” Roger sat down and pulled out the lighter he had found a couple days ago and tossed it over to Nick. “Maybe you can find some use for this, can’t get the damn thing to work.” Nick held up the lighter and flicked it open, igniting a flame. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just looking for an excuse to give me a gift.” Nick pocketed the lighter and slid off the table. Roger smirked, “let’s get you back to the agency, Ellie’s probably worried sick.” Nick rolled up his sleeves and tucked his shirt into his pants. “You go on ahead; I’ve got to straighten myself out. I’ll catch up with you.”

Roger nodded and left the building, leaving Nick to his own devices. Nick sat back down, feeling a strange sensation in his gut. There was an annoying blinking light in his HUD that he was curious about. Once he addressed it a message flashed before his eyes: _begin shutdown video playback?_ Nick shifted uncomfortably as he watched Roger operating on him. Then he watched Roger’s breakdown and he couldn’t watch anymore. Nick realized that he was breathing heavily; he didn’t understand what he was feeling. He was filled with great remorse but at the same time could not be more proud to have such a friend, finally someone he could call a true friend. Nick finished getting ready before leaving the home, a head full of hope and a new outlook on this man he called a friend.


End file.
